Sending Postcards from a Plane Crash
by FrankandJoe3
Summary: Dick spends his first day of the new year adapting to a broken heart.


**The song is "Sending Postcards from a Plane Crash (Wish You Were Here)" by Fall out Boy. To be honest, I don't like this song by them as much as the others, but I LOVE the title so I figured I could feature some Fall out Boy in my archives. I love them, no past tense, and I want more than anything for them to get back together. There was a rumor that in November, they're getting together. If they don't, I'm going to break down and cry. Again. They're _amazing_. Patrick Stump has range like no other… He sings the chorus in "Cupid's Chokehold". And the whole song of "Sugar We're Goin' Down". In case you don't know him. Main singer in Fall out Boy… **

**Disclaimer: I don't own the part of the song used for this or the characters featured.**

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_I am such a sucker, and I'm always the last to know_

The night seemed to be at its darkest by the time Dick found his way to his knees, the black of his skin tight spandex blending in to the shaded concrete behind him atop the roof of Wayne Tech. The moonless night above him was just a cold reminder that no one wanted him, not even the celestial space bodies high above, the ones suspended in the glowing aura that always watched over broken souls like him when no one else was there to watch. Even though he had done nothing wrong, still the bright guardians of the sky turned their heads away in shame, refusing to give him the attention he so desperately needed at this heart-wrenching hour.

Where was the moon's beautiful shine, the one that would've been so necessarily helpful in illuminating a faint walkway to lead him back home, the one that would protect him from the inevitable self-destruction? What about the glistening stars that would give a hope-drained kid such as himself a brief flicker of what he lacked the most of, closing his eyes at their simple sight and running desperate wishes across his mind that only those with the hopeful eyes that peeked over the heads of the teddy bears they still possessed for when they felt as worthless as they did when they found themselves looking up towards the sky?

The blue of his eyes was exposed, blending with the tears that welled around the rims, the tears that so desperately longed to fall like rain onto the concrete parallel to his face where they'd darken to join the rest of the colors around him. His breath was hard in his throat, his mind racing faster than the yellow and red blur he prayed to feel cutting the air before a brotherly hand would touch to his shoulder, an apology coming fast. The air stayed still though and his shoulder untouched, making his hands curl into light fists on his thighs.

Every thought that had ever crossed his mind, every assumption he had stored deep into the depths of his beings, the ones he thought couldn't be anywhere near anything that wasn't the truest of facts. He had gotten lost in the library it seemed though, mistaking a Hardy Boy book for a rape victim's retelling of her tragic experiences with scary old men in the back alleys of crowded cities. He tore the story in half, feeding the paper into the flames, angrily tearing each page and lighting its tip, watching the words turn to a vicious black and crumple under his touch. Just like his best friendship.

He had thought Wally would be his forever. He had expected the ginger to be nothing but his own, the two of them being bros for life, or at least until a well-aimed bullet pierced their spandex and ended the sentence early with a blood-drowned meaningful farewell message. Like all good detectives though, Dick made one fatal mistake, leaving the most obvious suspect out of the problem, the one always responsible for killing the best thing a man has: a woman. A girlfriend to be more specific, the one that turned those eager emerald eyes against him, killing off that sweet smirk that he had grown to love.

_My insides are copper and I'd kill to make them gold_

Dick looked up at the dark sky, a tear staining his flesh bitterly as the darkness pressed down on him, trying to crush him into the concrete below instead of enveloping him like it would've done if he had been the real thing. He was just a sidekick. He just wore a mask and a cape, running around in tights. He wasn't Batman! No, if he was Batman, someone would see him on his knees on the roof and assume he was thinking up a way to save someone important from something dangerous, considering him to be a hero for doing nothing. When they saw him, they just saw a crying kid.

If he had been the real thing, a bright gold instead of the bronze that stained his medal-made body, then maybe he'd still have a best friend. If his placing was first, all attention to him, instead of the third place that would always mar his flesh that odd green tint from the touch, then maybe he wouldn't care as much. Tears wouldn't burn at the navy in his eyes when he was reminded that eyes of the clearest emerald would never sparkle in that special way for him again. Teeth wouldn't pierce chapped lips of the faintest color when reminded that the taunting smirk would never be in his direction. If his ranking was as high as those he aimed to be like, his heart would be of stone instead of the broken glass figurine in his chest instead.

_Conversation got me here: another night alone in the city… so make my bed the grave and shovel dirt onto my sheets_

Dick hadn't intended to spend his starless night atop his guardian's company's building, his knees in the concrete and his broken heart stabbing holes in his insides. Starting out earlier that day, technically last year seeing that today was the start of the New Year, he had been in the Watch Tower. He knew nothing good could come out of his mentor being mind-controlled, which nothing did, but the fight he had to survive with the only family he had left wasn't the worst of it all. Cleaning the cuts from where the concrete tore his flesh and tending to the dark purple bruises that littered his body out of sight where no one could see them weren't that bad either.

The part that made him die a little inside, the thing that anchored him to his knees on the floor, his face torn down and away from the stars that looked away in shame, was what had happened on the last minute of last year.

'I should've done this sooner.'

Teeth grinded angrily together, a frustrated scream sounding from behind them as a gloved hand furiously brought itself down on the rooftop, an instant pain shooting up through his fingers, causing instant recoil. The pain, no matter how temporary, numbed his thoughts for the seconds it hovered so he was thankful for the ache. He did it again, as hard as he could, enough to make his hand go numb in pure blissful agony, a groan of no particular emotion spilling past his lips. He wanted the feeling to stretch though.

Where was the numbness in his heart? How could it hurt so much without the tingling numb feeling settling over the fresh scars? There had to be blood by this point, if not underneath the 'flesh' of the throbbing muscle, which meant that relief would come soon. With death would come his chance of reuniting with his parents while his body wasted in the soil, his flesh naked against the coarse black of the coffin he had planned in his mind. There was to be no funeral, just a burial to save the tears. He wanted no one to grieve more than he was now.

Every friend we ever had in common… I will sever the tie, sever the tie with you

"Get a hold of yourself, Grayson," Dick growled to himself, setting his palms over his eyes and digging his nails into the skin in front of his ears.

He couldn't though. Until now, he had relied on this bar to ghost him through the air into the loving hands of another who would glide him to the next person who would in turn baby him through until he fell into the net far below. Relying on the touch and trust of another was all he knew! He would have to live without it though. He had to lose this need for it.

The ebony shakily stood to his feet, scrubbing hard at his cheeks before balling his hands into fists and staggering towards the rim of the roof, trembling hard with every step he tried to take. Hatred had replaced his blood, his mind already plotting a series of intricate torture techniques with the intention of leaving Wally alone and cold. Every friend would be lost. Every heart broken. Every smile frozen to the teeth. Once he was done, he assured himself, Wally would feel the exact same as he did now.

_You can thank your lucky stars that everything I wish for will never come true_

As he stepped up onto the edge of the rooftop, his toes dangling out over the dead space separating him from instant peace, he offered a final glance to the heavens, stopping with a wince as his eyes caught on the faintest glimmer of a star above him. He raised his eyebrows, shakily gasping a sob off, surprise written neatly into his features. Gloved fingers hopefully reached up for the bright light, the reflection gleaming in his eyes innocently. It could never parallel the hatred that ran rapid with the wish ideas that filled his mind.

"S-Star… light… star bri… bright… The first st-star… I see t-tonight… I wish I m-may... I wish… I-I might… Make my w-wish… come tru.. true… tonight," he muttered, frantically racking his brain for the right words to the rhyme.

He let his eyes shut, thinking through each wish that ran rapid between his ears, listening to each delicate breath, trying to figure which would be the best train of hope to cling to. Each seemed to be darker than the one before it though, his scowl growing larger as he caught the whistle of each one in his ear.

Did he want to lose the one person he had come to trust with the identity he had tried to lose? No, he wouldn't be able to go on if that well-built trust from so long ago was just suddenly sealed away six feet beneath the grass; with a light heart and an innocent conscious anyway. Could he stand the broken stares from a marred body, the unfathomable agony all caused from a simple utterance on his fault, living through the potential that the pain would be returned with quite a vengeance?

_When you go, I will forget everything about you_

Then, pale lips parted.

"I wish… I wish there… was a w-way… that… W-Wally could… be h-happy… with… h-her… without me ha… having to s-see…" he brokenly whispered, wiping the fresh tears away with a swipe of his indexes.

When his body began its slow descent towards the asphalt of the parking lot, it wasn't to kiss the earth goodbye for the final time; rather to release a grappling hook from its yellow prison, managing to snag a hook on the outstretched arm of a telephone pole, gliding until his boots scraped the ground. He stumbled, spiraling his arms out in an effort to reclaim balance which loosened his hold on the grappling hook, causing its rebound to smack him in the face with a disgruntled cry of surprise.

His hand gripped the gun tightly, pressing a button that retracted the hook so he could hang the gun onto his belt, straightening up a bit and starting to steal into the night, hugging the shadows as he crept. For a moment, he honestly eyed the ZETA hidden inside the telephone booth, but he was pretty sure Wally would be back there and he had no intention of the ginger seeing him like this. He could've used it to get back home much faster, just a simple switching of the beams, but he much rather preferred this walk on the way to meet the Robincycle he had just called to his location.

When it paused in front of him, he straddled the seat and gunned it off into the night, letting the calming roar of the engine roll up through his thighs to the rest of his body, taking over the suffering beat of his heart in a soothing manner. The speed was always so calming, encouraging his wrist to pull back and press him harder against the unofficial motorcycle built so he could legally drive it on the roads, drawing the faintest laughter past an unconscious grin, the danger bringing him back from the depression.

The dark of the night passed off into his mind, causing himself to stagger in surprise as he found his knee resting along his window sill, his costume and vehicle gone from sight. He looked down, taking in his dark jeans and his red jacket with wide eyes. A raised hand confirmed that his tears were hidden by the shades he had grown so attached to in the recent years, and that he was holding his IPod. That explained the faint music in his ears. He shook his head lightly, dropping from the window sill for the grass below. _  
__  
I've seen sinking ships go down with more grace than you_

He thought his landing outside of Wayne Tech had been embarrassing, his nose still slightly throbbing, but this one was a lot worse. He completely missed his feet, sprawling onto his stomach and laying there for a long moment, screwing his face up appropriately for a stretched out groan of pain. His fingers dug into the perfect blades, trembling until he mustered up the strength to prop himself up on his forearms, staring through the grass at the fence that separated him from the city.

Despite the ache running hard through his body, Dick still wanted nothing more than to get up and leave, contaminating the city with the emotion building up under the mask he had built up without needing any official fabric to do so. He wanted to get back on his Robincycle, driving until he ran out of gas, laying there helpless until someone came to help him from any self-destruction that was bound to unfold if he kept on torturing himself like that.

"More like the Boy Wonder-_fail_," a familiar voice echoed in his mind, a once heart-warming laugh pressing his eyes into the grass again with a helpless whimper. "Don't just lay there, Rob! Do you really want your first few hours of the new year spent nom-noming your front yard?"

_Turn this up I'll tune you out  
_

Dick desperately cranked the volume on his IPod, practically sealing his eyes shut to keep from breaking down again, drowning his best friend's voice from his mind. Wally was up in the Watchtower with Artemis, 'celebrating' the ebony's reason for heartbreak, his haunting memory following the shadow that the mess of emotions must've left behind. The music couldn't hide that taunting laugh, that amused smirk, the mischievous tint to those light eyes settled down on him, all slowly forcing him to his feet.

Although it hurt to move, he trudged on, weakly rubbing his ribs from where the majority of the impact had hit. When he made it past the gates, he made it so the music was as loud as possible, slowly walking along the shoulder of the road, his hands stuffed into his pockets.

_Another night alone in the city, yeah_

Forcing a smile for no one to see, he repetitively brought the toe of his converse to a rock, kicking it along with him, ignoring the speeding cars beside him and how they whipped his hair violently as they passed. Not an ounce of fear riddled his body, the thought of death pushed far aside with no other companion in the night beside the shadow that tagged along for every second a headlight him. Even that shadow left though as the winds in the road took him farther and farther and from the heartbeats of others.

_Fake it like you matter-that's a lie we can both keep, oh_

Dick kicked himself, long ago having abandoned the rock, for even having the slightest thought that Wally would care about this. The ginger flirted with anything that moved, befriending everything down to the turtles. He had been lying to himself this whole time, believing that he actually played a role in the busy life of the speedster. It looked like he had just found another lie to add to the long list of the ones he lived by, his fingers tightening around his IPod, near positive his knuckles would outshine the hidden moon from how tight his fists had grown.

Not like anyone would care.

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**Boy Wonder-_fail_. Boy Wonder_ful_. In case you didn't notice. Anyway. This one's been sitting unfinished in the archives a while. It's just basically Dicky-boy getting all upset about the Spitfire kiss. That's how old it is… so many ideas, but such great procrastination. And he does get his wish. Wally leaves the team… I suck at endings, don't remind me… Review?**

**-F.J.**


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